samssmurf

  I never told you this. Sometimes I suffer from sleep paralysis. I don't care for the sensation of being unable to move, but luckily I can always tell when my body is falling faster into sleep than my mind, and with a little effort I can pull myself awake, change position, and fall asleep more naturally.  This morning I lay warm and drowsing, and I felt that telltale sudden heaviness and began exerting my will to move a finger or arm or my head, telling myself that it was past time to get out of bed anyway. But this time, the dreaming had already started. A little girl's voice called for me, "Mama", and her small fingers tapped at my legs.

You say it like it's a revelation, that anyone would do that for you.  As if it completely takes you by surprise and you are blown away by the selflessness and caring shown to you by these "indulgences".  I'm frozen, because I see that you are so happily committed to that frame of mind that nothing I say would change it.  Nothing would be accomplished by reminding you that I, actually, did those things for you too.  I offered and provided that same support, without hesitation or question, asking and expecting nothing in return.  Maybe that was my mistake.  I'm self-aware enough to understand that you couldn't have taken me for granted if I ha